You are not the victim
Just getting frustration of my chest
It’s baffling that thought’s like this are at the scrutiny of the world. Truly, I can not imagine a reality in which I give so much agency to actions inflicted upon myself that I am debilitated from any action that helps my purpose.
Let me paint the picture, the world is subjective. I like 2000’s Emo music, I live in a world where I’ve never celebrated a sports team win a championship, my internal voice speaks to me in Greek. I could go on about every little single thought that is a constantly and we would have a 99% differential between the way we think the world works.
You are unique…
Not because you’re problems are, but rather you’re the only person that’s occupied all of your experiences, in the meat sack your currently possessing.
What ever has happened to you has happened to you.
Let me place on my legal hat.
I was going to insert my first legal case here - but it’s a bit dire. domestic violence, Death etc. essentially the court could not tie the DV to the death. a link in causation could not be found.
The only fact before the jury in your head, is truly the action inflicted on you. the action and meaning you give to that action is pure conjecture, its a leading question, it’s an attempt to prove causation that would be thrown out of court.
The world is shit, the world oppresses’ you, the little guy hardly win’s.
David and goliath is a tale as old as time because we constantly want it to be reality, but why is the foregone conclusion of those who love that story that - well, life suck’s I shouldn’t try.
The David and Goliath story has been Chinese whispered into a story of disappointment as opposed to the intention of up lifting and that even the little guy can win.
Bad things will happen to you.
Often you won’t have a say in these bad things, but it’s your choice to respond how you ought to. And yeah, the victim role is the easiest, the damsel in distress if you will, someone will save you if you cry loud enough, right?
Wrong, someone else gets accountability and credit for your recovery.
Wouldn’t we all love people to give us a hug and say “it’ll be okay” before shielding us from anymore pain.
After the rain, an umbrella becomes a burden.
There’s a time for that, but the time is no where near as long as we allow ourselves, nor do other people give us.
Everything that happens post the action, is your choice.
Stop running, hiding distracting yourself and face up.
The way I view it, nothing is good or bad, good and bad are the emotions we retrospective tie to an event - things just are.
It is what it is.
Something that happened to me that I now become aware of and can stop from happening to someone else in turn, turns out to be a good thing for the world.
if you don’t learn from it, bad damage will remain bad damage.
but, what’s the point in that? what do you learn? how do you grow from that?
life is suffering, living is the choice we make in spite of the suffering.
Acceptance of the event (not the emotion) creates agency.
Take it from someone that watches anime, the first episode is the shit thing happening to the protagonist - Attack on titan, his mother is eaten. Demon slayer, his family is eaten. Why is there so much eating? lol.
*I know both these anime’s are a specific genre of anime, in which the young man becomes a hero*
The following scene’s become about acceptance, and no, not revenge, but rather redemption.
As a man, all your childhood fantasies are about the saving of others, tell me I’m wrong? you fight off the bad guy for a girl, you stop a bad guy from his plans and hurting others.
side point, this is why I don’t think toxic masculinity can not be real - to be masculine in it’s essence is to save others, and put others before you.
Let you’re pain be your cannon event, begin now on your redemption arc.
begin with an acceptance that this is the way life is now, this is my Instagram filter over the world, I will ensure it doesn’t happen to any one else.
my world and my perception is entirely different than yours, trust me I’ve seen this first hand with men I work with, it is legitimately crazy how we can both read the same sentence and formula opposite responses to justify our narrative.
Those that have gone into create value for other’s have their cannon event occur from pain. no matter how large or small that pain is.